Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
