hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
should my penis look like a turkey
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
