ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
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