ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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