Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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