i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
