when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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