at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
