How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
