At least make sure they are 18
Why
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
