so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
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in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
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I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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