what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
did i just pee glitter
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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