I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
