ya dads aren't the best wingmen
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You ruined the universe
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
