every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I just gift wrapped bread.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
