My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Yo dont text me then not text me
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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