Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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