I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
PANTIES FOUND
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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