She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
