Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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