There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
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