She is in my trunk
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
