Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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