you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize
