I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
A bitchslap is in order.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
