Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
