i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
