I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
