I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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