She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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