Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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