So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
