I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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