Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
