Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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