He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
