Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
