Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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