One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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