I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
