He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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