party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
