I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
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