She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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