Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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