You can't motorboat a personality
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
