I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
