I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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