I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize