Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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