It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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