I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize