his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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