I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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