Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
high people should be assigned attendants
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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