Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
