jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
